An introduction to Relationship Marketing, part 1 of 2

Relationships are not a “Happening.”  Real relationships don’t just happen. They are deep-rooted and develop intentionally.  One of my Rabbis Rabbi Noah Weinberg of blessed memory used to say that:

The strongest example of a relationship is that between a parent and a child.  A parent wouldn’t sell their child for any amount of money and will sacrifice their own material benefit for that of their child.  Why?  Because they see themselves in that child and they want only the best for their children.  The question is, how do we learn from the parent/child relationship to strengthen our own relationships?

Show that you care.  

That you want to help them be the best that they can be.  Listen to them.  Care about their goals and needs and they will care about yours.  We just said that a parent would not sell their children for any amount of money because their love is priceless.  Relationships are priceless, so pay attention to them as if a multimillion-dollar business deal is on the table.   

Questions are priceless when building relationships

Friendships are worth more than money, so be fascinated by people and become their friend!

Long ago I read a story from Richard Brooke and JM Fogg that I have re-told countless times. It was about a psychiatrist who was doing research for a book.  The doctor set up the following experiment: He would book a first-class seat on a plane flight from New York to L.A. and he would only ask questions of the person sitting next to him. No facts and figures. No declarative statements of any kind. He would only ask the person questions. Sure enough, a fellow sat down next to him and the psychiatrist started asking questions. He kept it up for the entire flight– six hours coast-to-coast. When the plane landed in Los Angeles, the man was met by the doctor’s research staff and interviewed. 

Two important and powerful things came out of that meeting:

• First, the man who sat next to the psychiatrist and talked with him for six hours didn’t know his name. Proof that the good doctor did not reveal any information.
• Second, the man who sat next to the doctor said the psychiatrist was, the single most interesting person he had ever met in his life!

Show and Tell

Human beings are reciprocal creatures. We like people who like us. We are interested in people who take an interest in us. We usually don’t particularly care for people who can’t stand us. The point: When you are, curious and interested in a person’s favorite subject — themselves– they will be interested in you, too.You give form and substance to your interest by asking questions about them.

A new spin on the old “Show and Tell”. 

Show them you care by asking questions about them and they’ll tell you all you need and want to know.  We have all heard the old saying that we have two ears and one mouth, so spend as little time talking about yourself as possible.  Instead listen to others and be fascinated!